


y'all ever nut so hard you astral project out of the universe?

by TurquoiseCake



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Astral Projection, Consensual, Consensual Sex, Light Bondage, Multi, Use of exactly one vibrator, consensual drug use, dave is such a sub, dinner going cold, extended orgasm, showering together, sodomy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:53:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25309300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TurquoiseCake/pseuds/TurquoiseCake
Summary: Jade invents a serum that can exponentially lengthen one's orgasm, which is awesome, but it has some unexpected side effects when her boyfriends try it.
Relationships: Dave Strider/Jade Harley, Dave Strider/Jade Harley/Karkat Vantas, Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, Jade Harley/Karkat Vantas
Comments: 10
Kudos: 59





	y'all ever nut so hard you astral project out of the universe?

**Author's Note:**

> i wanna thank my editor seltzer and also god for making this shit possible

Now that you think about it, there’s probably a reason humans don’t have hour long orgasms. 

“Jade,” Karkat calls from the other side of your bedroom door, knocking. “Can I-“ 

“No!!!” Is your immediate reply, mortified. You’ve got your soaked hand holding your vibrator all the way up your pussy and beside you there’s a very obvious volumetric flask with bright red fluid in it (not blood!! Good god) that’s half empty. Lord damn you if they see you like this. 

“Uh,” Karkat hesitates. “Dinner is ready.” 

“Oh, fuck!” Your voice is embarrassingly high pitched as the, what, fifteenth wave of intensity hits you? You’ve lost count. This is the most bizarrely incredible (and potentially dangerous) thing you’ve ever put your body through. You can’t wait to share it with your boyfriends over dinner. 

“...Jade?” 

“Mmmhuh?” 

His voice is muffled through the door but you can hear his concern. “You ok?” 

“I’m great!” You respond a bit too quickly. 

“Well, ok.” He seems hesitant to leave you. “See you in a few?” 

“Yea yea,” you can’t help the breathlessness in your voice. You can barely breathe at all. This might’ve actually been a terrible idea. You can’t think, you can’t feel pain, everything feels fucking amazing and it _just keeps going_. “Hhhnnmm— Few minutes…” 

Oh dear. You aren’t sure how long you’ve been orgasming for, and you have no idea how long it’ll keep going. In fact there’s a very slim chance you’ll actually be able to make it to dinner in the next few minutes. 

To both your relief and mortification, Karkat still hasn’t left the outside of your bedroom door. “Jade?” 

“Karkat!” You yell a little too sensually. God help you. “Yes?” 

“Can I come in?” 

You have to seriously think this one over, which is a problem because you can’t think. In fact, you’re 90% sure your brain is completely fried right now. Do you want to face the mortification of Karkat seeing you like this, potentially be either disgusted with you or be really turned on?  What if he leaves you forever, or maybe he’ll help you out… the stakes are too high. You can’t risk it but you can’t open your mouth to speak and your pussy is clenched so fucking tight that you can’t pull the vibrator out. It’s stuck. 

Apparently you were quiet for too long because Karkat says your name again, more worried this time, and fuck if it doesn’t get to you every time he does that. What is it about him saying your name that makes your heart pound so? Heaven knows, but now he’s cracking open the door to make sure you’re alright, despite his better judgment to respect your privacy. When you see him you notice his eyes blow wide from first glance and he immediately turns away. 

Just fuck your entire existence honestly. 

~~

So you caught a glimpse of your girlfriend masturbating because you couldn’t fucking think for ONE MINUTE longer that you ought to respect her privacy. She must be disgraced with you. “Fuck, sorry,” you try to apologize, covering your face as you look away, but the door is still open a crack behind you, and oh shit her voice is gorgeous. 

“It’s, it’s alright, I’m sorry you had to— ah! uhhh, see this,” 

Despite the flutter in her breathless voice making your knees weak, you can tell something is wrong. She would’ve stopped by now, you’d think, unless she can’t? Is she trying to make a point? You’ve never thought of Jade to be the sort to do things out of spite, is she trying to get your attention? 

“Fuck…” she says, and the word sounds foreign on her tongue because she’s too sweet and lovely to have adopted the swear-riddled jargon of both you and Dave but it’s also really hot. She sounds distressed, there’s no hint of teasing in her voice, you’re certain now she’s not doing this on purpose. 

“Can I come in?” You ask again after a pause too long.

“Yeah,” she says in the most beautiful breathless gasp you think you’ve ever heard. The way she said it keeps replaying in your head, despite your wishes, as you carefully enter her room and shut the door behind you. When you muster the courage to look up at her again instead of staring at the floor, you see she’s got her back to you, curled up on her side with her knees to her forehead… Shit, she looks like she’s shaking. You all but throw yourself across the room to be on the bed beside her to rub her back and comfort her, you don’t even know what’s wrong yet but you can tell she’s in trouble. 

“Shit, what’s wrong?” she doesn’t relax despite your most comforting paps, which is unusual. Your worry builds. You brush her dark hair away from her face and oh god her expression is twisted so tightly into one of pleasure and pain that your heart skips a beat or five. 

“It won’t stop,” she manages, hiding her face in her arms and drawing her legs up closer to her. 

“What won’t?” You’re on the edge of panic. 

With the essence of a horror movie, she uncovers her face and turns to you, eyes wide and bloodshot, lip trembling. Softly, under her breath, to the tune of All-Star by Smash Mouth, she whispers, “they don’t stop coming and they don’t stop coming and they don’t stop coming and they-“ 

You scream. 

~~

So Karkat went upstairs to check on Jade, leaving you alone to gaze solemnly at dinner, which is slowly growing cold. You sigh and take off your shades momentarily to rub at your tired eyes. The time on the microwave says it’s nine-thirty, it took you long enough to make dinner without Jade and now Karkat has been up there way too long. You get the distinct feeling that you’re missing out on something. By the time the clock hits 9:10 you’ve decided you need to go up and check on them yourself, the ham and rice will hopefully still be good when you get back. 

Scooting out from the table, you stand and stretch, taking your time, popping your back and flexing your joints. Then you hear Karkat scream bloody murder upstairs and fucking bolt up to their room in panic. When you reach the threshold of the bedroom, panting with your heart going a billion miles per hour, you see Karkat cradling Jade in his arms with his back to you and your whole heart and soul crashes down to the center of the earth. 

“Fuck, fuck,” you start, racing over to them, “what’s wrong, what happened,” 

“Dave…” you hear Jade say, her voice so weak and breathless, your head feels dizzy with dread and worry. “It’s alright,” she tries to tell you, but you’re already on the bed beside Karkat to look at her, “please you don’t have to-“ 

And then you see her. She looks like she has a terrible fever and her eyelids are heavy and every fiber of your being is driving you forward to make sure she’s ok. You reach forward to press your hand to her forehead, and god, she’s burning up. She makes this soft little sound when you touch her face and her eyes flutter shut, she leans into your cool palm. Your heart comes back up from its journey to the center of the earth to flutter in your chest, but you have to focus. 

“I’ll, I’ll get ice or something,” you start, beginning to get up, but Karkat stops you. 

“Dave wait, it’s not as bad as it looks, she’s fine,” 

“Ex-fucking-cuse me?” You turn back around to face him, “she’s DYING!” 

“No, Dave,” Karkat sounds a little exasperated, like he’s doing his best to stay patient despite this conundrum. “She’s just worn out.” 

“From what?” You crawl back onto the bed beside him to get a second look at her, with her flushed cheeks and the fact that she’s not wearing a shirt, as well as her crumpled skirt being hiked up around her hips, ...oh fuck. 

You turn to face Karkat, appalled. “What did you DO?” 

“Nothing! She did this to herself!” 

You smother your face in your hands and take a deep breath. “WHAT is going ON.” 

“Dave,” Jade says again, so small and weary, it catches your whole attention and you reach to take her hand and tell her that you’re here, you’re listening, it’s gonna be alright, fuck. However, when you pick her hand up, you find it’s slimy with cold spunk. You don’t really give a damn though because your will to comfort Jade outweighs your squeamishness and you keep her hand firmly in yours. 

“It’s alright,” she tells you like she’s on her fucking deathbed. 

“Jade what the fuck is happening?” 

“Listen,” she grips your hand weakly, trembling slightly as you hold hers. Your breath catches in your throat. “I’m fine, I did something really super awesome.” 

“What?” 

“I’m just really really tired Dave,” she says, stroking her sticky thumb over your knuckles. “I invented something really fucking cool.” 

“Dave,” Karkat nudges you gently. “Let’s get her to the bathroom, she can explain over dinner.” 

So with the efforts of you and Karkat combined, you lift Jade and carry her to the bathroom where you all eventually wind up naked and in the shower. Jade is standing by the time the water is on, albeit on shaky legs, clinging to you for support. While you feel like Superman for being able to hold her up like this, it's still distressing to see your usually strong and formidable girlfriend so weakened. 

She tucks her head under your chin on your shoulder as you stroke water through her long, dark hair, lightheaded with the way she holds onto you. Karkat sighs, starting to rub some shampoo into his hair. He’s got the right idea, you think, since you might as well wash up while you’re here. Dinner be damned. 

“So are you gonna tell us what happened?” You ask Jade, swaying gently with her in your arms. 

“So you know pigs right?” She starts, and you have no idea where she plans to go with that but you humor it anyway. 

“Yes I know pigs.” 

“Well it’s said that pigs can have an orgasm that lasts thirty minutes on average, sometimes even up to an hour and a half.” 

“Oh dear god.” Karkat, who has made his way behind you, lets his head fall onto your other shoulder and hugs you from behind. The sheer amount of body contact you’re getting right now is distracting enough to keep you from being completely thrown for a loop by what Jade is saying. 

“And flamingos also apparently have thirty minute orgasms, and I got to thinking, what if *I* could do that? What if I could do that for my super hot boyfriends?” She seems to be regaining some strength back in her voice, but stays clinging to you all the same. “So I got to studying, and I found out some neat things about chemicals in the brain being able to manipulate muscles in the body, and figured out a serum that can drastically lengthen orgasms!” 

“If I had a nickel for every time you said orgasm…” you mutter, nuzzling your face into her hair. 

Karkat seems to catch on to the fact that you aren’t paying much attention and helps put things in layman’s terms for you. “She made a drink that makes you cum for like an hour, dude.” 

“Wait what.” You’re becoming hyper aware of how much skin on skin contact is happening right now. 

“Yea, I figured I’d test it on myself first before letting anyone else try it, and had to go through a few really bad ones, but I think I finally got a chemical compound that works perfectly!” She cuddles against you, hugging you tight, and it certainly seems she’s got most of her strength back. 

“Fucking hell,” you say under your breath, feeling Karkat bury his face into your back. “How long have you been working on this?”

“A few months.” 

“And you’ve been experimenting with it for?” 

“Also a few months.” 

“And this whole time we haven’t known about it?” 

“I wanted it to be a surprise!” She dislodges her head from the crook of your neck to peck you on the cheek. “I guess the cat’s out of the bag now though.” 

Karkat lets go of you to grab some soap. “Yeah,  _ I GUESS _ .” He hands some to Jade and helps her work it through her hair. 

“Ain’t there like any really bad side effects?” You ask, picking up a sponge to start washing yourself off. 

“Other than the exhaustion that comes with orgasming for an hour, no not really!” She seems far too excited about this, which you can’t blame her for, you kind of are too. 

“So, like, can I try it?”

She beams at you. “Absolutely!” 

And that’s how you wind up with your wrists tied above your head and Karkat straddling you, kissing you senseless. Dinner is forgotten, you’ll all eat later. The bed is big enough to fit all three of you, and the headboard is perfect for securing handcuffs to. You’re squirming under Karkat as he drags his hands up your chest and back down, teasing your nipples along the way. You want to touch them but being restrained is still just so hot for some reason. A thrill runs through you when Karkat starts kissing down your jaw, your neck, your collarbone.

Jade sits beside you on the bed, testing the acidity and shit of her magic forever-cum liquid. “Alright,” she starts, “it’s all good to go. Now, when you drink this, you’ll have to wait thirty minutes to an hour for the effects to sink in. If you orgasm before then it won’t work.” 

You sputter. “What? But I’m all ready to go now, man, everybody’s naked, I can’t wait an hour for this shit, I’ll die of anticipation.” 

“I think if you can orgasm for an hour you can deal with foreplay for an hour.” She smiles, sliding one hand under your head to help you lift up enough to drink. 

“Alright fine.” The bright red liquid in the funky science tube makes you nervous, god, what are you about to drink. “Uh, hang on, uncuff me please.” 

Jade pulls the glass away and quickly complies, uncuffing you and kissing your wrists for good measure. You sit up and reach for the bottle, which she hands to you. Hesitantly, after taking a deep breath, you take a sip. 

It tastes like fucking,,, metal. Or like when you leave a pill in your mouth too long before swallowing. It’s bitter and metallic and tastes awful but she said you need to drink like six ounces of the stuff if you’re to have an hour long orgasm, or three ounces for thirty minutes. You drink four ounces before having to put it away, grimacing. 

“God,” you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand and shudder. “If you’d have told me it would taste like satans asshole before letting me drink it I might’ve reconsidered.” 

“Would you actually?” Karkat quirks his big thick eyebrows at you. “I think you’d drink an old man's piss if someone told you it could extend your climax.” 

You grin at him. “As if you wouldn’t do the same.” 

“You’re both gross!” Jade says, scooting in. “Now, I recommend only one of us uses the formula at a time, since it kinda renders you helpless for like an hour and it would be good to have someone sober with you for the duration.” 

“Fair.” You drink some water before setting your glass back on the nightstand, and then lay down on your back. “So does this stuff like make the apogee happen on its own or?” 

“Oh, no,” Jade lies down on her side beside you. “You have to have the orgasm by yourself, but once you have it while on the serum it’ll last for exponentially longer!” 

“Guess that means I’ve got work to do,” Karkat growls, crawling over you, and you’re so stunned by that zero-to-sixty transition in his demeanor that your heart leaps all but out of your fucking ribs. 

“Uh,” you let him take your hands and pin them down above your head, “yeah I guess so, wow.” 

Jade nuzzles her face against your neck and reminds you, “Remember we need to wait for at least thirty minutes before the serum will be effective, think you can hold out that long?” 

“Well gee, I dunno.” You look up at Karkat and waggle your eyebrows. “That depends on whether Karkat here is able to keep his paws off me.” 

He leans down like he’s going to kiss you, but instead just talks with his teeth right against your mouth, causing you to squirm. “I think I’ll have my paws on you for as long as I like,” he says, and heat shoots to your groin before you can process it. Then he kisses you, which makes the groin situation even worse, because god he knows what to do. You can’t help the little sounds you make, as you feel Karkat slide his hands down your arms and Jade take your wrists to re-cuff them to the headboard. 

Once you’re secure, Jade and Karkat both sit up from you and start kissing, and watching them is an absolute experience and a half. She combs her hands through his messy hair and tugs on it while he bites her lip. As they kiss she takes his hand, putting one arm behind his back to practically dip him as if they were dancing, which makes him go soft and pliant as she slides her tongue against his. Jade's hair falls to curtain the view from you, which you silently curse until Karkat tucks it back behind her ear for her. 

You want to be between them so fucking badly but you also just want to keep watching them, their chemistry is so strange yet it works so well now that they’ve figured it out. Karkat is compassionate and romantic, which Jade learned after getting past his initially sour facade, and she manages to pull the best out of him every time now. What’s best is she always seems so perfectly delighted at even the smallest of romantic gestures, of which Karkat has an endless supply. 

She takes one of his legs and pulls it up to her waist, effectively leaving him at the mercy of the strength in her arms holding him up. Deep in his chest you can hear him start to purr, that low rumble that makes your heart beat faster. It’s amazing to watch the way she seems so fascinated with him, exploring every inch of his skin with the gentle tips of her fingers, her eyes shining with curiosity and adoration that never dies down no matter how long they spend together. 

By the time he’s panting against her cheek and unable to sit still in her arms, it’s had to have been like ten minutes. You’re already turned on as hell and all you’ve been doing is watching them make out. Then they turn to you, and your heart flutters as Jade smiles at you with bedroom eyes and messy hair and this overall giddy demeanor. She lets Karkat go, and he crawls to you and curls up against your side and kisses your cheek until you turn to face him so he can kiss you on the mouth. 

His lips are already a bit red and swollen from kissing Jade, and his teeth are so perfect, the way he nips your bottom lip just right to send heat running through you. There’s a second set of lips on you, on your collar bone, Jade. She sucks marks into your neck while Karkats tongue slides against yours, causing you to whine and roll your hips up in vain. Someone’s hand is sliding up the inside of your thigh, your left nipple is being played with, and you think Karkat just squeezed your ass. It’s all almost too much. 

There’s no way for you to really tell how long it all goes on for, but thanks to your knack for time keeping you’d say they play with you like that for another whole ten minutes, and every second of it is the best possible kind of torture. Your breathing is labored and your face feels like it’s a billion fucking degrees, you have no idea what sort of insane blush you must be sporting but you’re sure it’s a doozy. Jade is pretty much going to town on every part of you _but_ your dick, sliding her hands up your thighs, feeling over your hips, groping the shit out of your ass and fucking _making out_ with your nipples. 

At this point everything you do just turns you on more, it’s like there’s no way to not feel horny as hell. Tugging against the restraints just sparks more heat between your legs, squirming sets all your nerves off and laying there just letting them touch every part of you makes you positively dizzy with, god, _something_. You don’t know what it is, you just need them, you need them to touch you, fuck you, _anything_. It hardly hits you that you're begging aloud until you’re stopped by Karkat kissing you again. 

You can’t help it, you moan into his mouth and suck his lips like he’ll give you life. He starts grinding his crotch against your leg, you can feel how wet he is. Among his thighs and groin on your hip you realize you also feel his knuckles, god, he’s touching himself. Soon he’s panting against your mouth and rutting against your thigh so enthusiastically you’re almost worried he’s going to nut right here on top of you, until you feel Jade sit up and slide behind him. 

She wraps her arms around his waist and pulls him up off of you, sliding her hand down his front until she can wrap her fingers around his bulge and start stroking him. Karkat makes this bizarre chattering sound and reaches behind himself to kiss her, using his other hand to hold onto her wrist loosely while she works him up. He’s sitting astride your hips now, hovering just over your dick and you swear if someone doesn’t touch you soon you’ll implode. Jade drags her free hand up his thigh, squeezes the soft flesh there and then slides a finger into his nook. 

It’s beautiful, he arches his back and cries this fantastically hot sound as she touches him and adds another one. He’s unbelievably wet, and when you strain your neck to lift your head enough you can see red slick drooling down his thighs. Jade kisses his neck and starts slowly guiding him down, her fingers in his nook blocking your dick from entering. You groan and squirm, trying to grind your hips up against them but to no avail. 

You can see her whisper something into his ear and you can’t make out what she’s saying, but you can see how Karkat reacts to it with a whine and a shudder. Her hand on his bulge starts working a little bit faster, and it’s addictive to watch the way his junk writhes and curls around her fingers. Then she pulls him back a bit, and you’re confused until he lifts both your legs up and pushes them apart, and Jade is guiding his bulge into your ass for him, and oh god. 

The face Karkat makes is so fantastically horny as he slides into you, but you can only see his bedroom eyes and bitten lip for a second before your vision goes bright with stars and the whole world goes blurry. It’s so sudden, you had no preparation whatsoever and then just bam, whole alien tentadick up your ass. Lord knows what the sound you just made was. It’s sliding and curling right against your prostate, which feels like heaven on fucking earth, and you’re hands are still secured to the headboard as Karkat holds your legs firmly in place. If you’re not careful you’ll come right here and now. 

Thankfully you’re able to hold out. Jade still has two or three fingers up his nook, and now with her other hand no longer on Karkat's bulge she’s free to touch your dick. If your vision wasn’t fucked up before from Karkat up your ass, it sure as hell is when she wraps her hand around your dick and tugs. You fucking wail. Vaguely you can see Jade still whispering things into Karkats ear, but you’re still too dizzy to tell what she’s saying. Her hand is still slick from handling Karkat’s bulge, and she slides it up and down your length so easily, toying with the head and squeezing at the base. 

She starts kissing Karkat’s neck, biting and sucking till he moans and shudders, rolling his hips and sliding in and out of you. He’s so thick, it’s so hot, you’re spread open and laid out and trembling as Jade speeds up what she’s doing with her hand. The whole sensation of all the shit happening to you right now has you fucking buzzing with ecstasy. The heat in your groin tightens and builds until you can’t take it, and then you break. Release hits you in a wave of pleasure so fucking hard that your eyes roll back and your back arches as you scream, shaking. You expect it to die down after a second like it usually does but this time it just _keeps going_. 

Oh fuck, you think. This may be how you die. After the initial shock of climax, you’re left up on this incredible high that just doesn’t stop, leaving you tense and trembling as Karkat keeps fucking you and Jade keeps touching you. You have no idea what’s happening, if you’re able to keep producing semen or if you gave the regular amount and the rest is just mental. The feeling hits you continuously, throbbing through you like fucking shockwaves from an explosion but they just keep coming. 

You feel it everywhere. Your fingertips, your legs, just your whole body, buzzing with the electricity of it. You’re reduced to constant, weak, high pitched moans, which you’d normally be embarrassed about but right now you feel way too good to give a damn. 

After maybe a minute or five of not being able to think at all, (you’ve completely lost track of time,) you feel like you’re starting to detach. Reality is becoming lost to you, you’re just overcome with nothing but sheer pleasure. Slowly you let go of everything. One by one all the little things that you held onto in life fall away and you feel yourself start to float, up and away through the ceiling, past the clouds, out of the atmosphere. From up here you can really process the feeling of what was once fleeting to you. It’s like the feeling of finishing a game that you’ve been playing for years, ha, not that you would know how that feels.

You _almost_ feel nauseous, the dizzying feeling of being so high up, as you watch the whole world slowly sink away. Yet somehow you don’t feel sick, everything still feels too amazing for anything bad to ever happen to you again. Away in the sky, you look down at the world and suddenly feel lonely, but how could you feel lonely, when you have two lovers, both of which are touching you, being so intimate and, 

Oh fuck. 

You look down, realize you can see your own body far below you, both Jade and Karkat still doing their thing around your crotch. Damn, is that how you look? Your eyes are squeezed shut, hands clenched into fists at the headboard, panting open mouthed and arching up off the bed like you’re being fucking exorcised. You’re blushing like a madman, god damn. It’s slightly mortifying to see your own O face just kinda suspended like that, so you look away. Fantastically, you can still vaguely feel what they’re doing to you, Karkat is still up your ass and Jade is still touching your dong, despite you literally astral projecting above them. It feels amazing and you can’t focus on what’s happening. 

Not that you need to focus. You can sort of just… drift away, if you let yourself. Dimensions fold around you into greater complexity and space becomes hyperbolic below. You ride the breeze away until it seems nothing in space or time can apply to you. You see stars form from clouds of shimmering gas and dust, you watch them grow and cool, until they explode into a thousand colors of supernovae, expanding into nebulas which form new stars. Space-time tears under the weight of the largest stars that collapse, forming black holes in the universe that lead to the space behind the void. 

You’re tripping absolute balls rn. 

The current carries you onward and upward, till you’re floating above the whole universe. Galaxies cluster into branches like veins, shimmering like webs of light at the bottom of a pool. Then even that drifts away, all collecting into a circle far below you that gets continuously smaller as you drift up and away into oblivion. 

_ Who created all this?  _

_ I think it created itself.  _

_ Why did it all have to happen?  _

_ Maybe there is no reason. Maybe it simply happened because it did, and that’s all.  _

_ Isn’t it wonderful, at least, to feel sunlight and rain, to taste fruit and to get to know the world?  _

_ Why must it be awful sometimes?  _

_ Maybe it’s the universe learning, taking its first steps in existence and falling, scraping its knees. The important part is getting back up.  _

“What the fuck.” 

_ Who’s there? _

“Uh, Dave.” 

_ Oh, hi Dave! _

“What are you, and what are you talking about.” 

_ Ah, you’re here a bit early. You should go on back to where you were, and you can come back when everything’s ready.  _

“What” 

_ Go on then! We love you!  _

“Uh, love you too?” 

…

You open your eyes. Jade is stroking your forehead with a damp, cool washcloth, and it looks like Karkat is cleaning his own spunk off your thighs with a towel. You’re lying on your back on the bed, and after a second you realize that you feel absolutely fucking exhausted. Thankfully it seems your hands are free, so you throw one arm over your eyes and groan tiredly. 

“Dave!” Jade stops stroking your forehead. “You’re awake! Thank goodness,” 

“Uh, yeah, did I pass out?” You move your arm to look at her, blearily struggling to keep your vision in focus. 

“You had a fucking seizure,” Karkat says, kissing your knee. “I almost called an ambulance.” 

“I’m really sorry,” Jade honestly looks anxious, her fluffy little wolf ears all pointed back. “I didn’t think it would do that… it didn’t do that for me.” 

“Do, do what?” You try to move but everything feels sore. 

Karkat tosses the nasty towel into the laundry and lies down next to you. “Uh, give you a seizure? Make you pass out? God damn Harley, what did you make him drink?” 

“I didn’t _make_ him drink it,” she protests, looking more sorry by the second. 

“Hey, guys, it’s cool,” you tell them, lazily patting Jade on the arm. “That was fucking awesome.” 

She seems to sigh with relief. “You sure?” 

“Yea, actually I’d probably do it again, maybe just with a way smaller dosage. I think I had some sort of extreme acid trip while on it.” 

“Weird,” Jade settles down and lies her head on your chest. “That never happened to me while testing, maybe the chemical reacts differently to different people.” 

“Or maybe,” Karkat pokes her, “you apes already have plenty strong human orgasms as it is and really don’t need any freaky unnatural amplifiers.” 

“It’s not unnatural!” She pokes him right back. “Pigs do it, birds do it, even educated fleas do it!” 

“What’s that about fleas?” 

“Oh, never mind.” Jade snuggles into your side and sighs. “I’m tired.” 

“I’m hungry,” Karkat says, but settles down anyway. “We’d better have a huge breakfast.” 

“We will,” you promise, “if I can walk in the morning.” 

“If you can’t I’ll carry you.” Jade says, yawning. 

“Hot.” 

“Go to sleep you fucking bottomless jar of mayonnaise.” 


End file.
